Diwali Crackers!

This Diwali was a mixed bag of feelings. First of all there were not too many of us to celebrate; just left with 3 of us; and then it took us a while to get into the mood as well. Monday, was spent quietly, sleeping; and then Chiku had to return in the evening; nothing much to do after that. I wanted to talk but that too wasn’t happening. So, I thought that this time it would be a silent Diwali for us. By eight, Mathur’s up and seeing the lights everywhere wants to light up our place as well. Soon, Atul comes in with candles and we actually light up out place. I guess our neighbors would be really happy this time; hmmm, these guys do know a little bit about the customs. Soon, we get some crackers as well and we start with them all. The smell of the BAROOD is good and you feel like filling the whole with smoke n noise. I keep looking at the phone and the road; even though I guess I knew it’ll not happen. Guess, it was like I’m enjoying at a moment and then I’m lonely for a second. Huh! We then decide the agenda for the next day; lotz of crackers this time. We decide to get out in the afternoon and get our stock of crackers; quite a bit of them. We also wanted to get some small crackers that you just light and throw in the air. We always have fun with these; just pull out a chair; have a candle beside you and just... light; throw; light; throw.

We get out the next day as planned, go to this shop and get ourselves quite a bit of the load. I took a few fuljhadi’s and anar’s as well; just in case. Other than that, we had our usual load of noise. I got particularly interested in a particular cracker that goes up in the sky and shimmers after the blast. And we are ready. Mathur and Atul, get home my 6:30 PM and I get a little late but just in time to catch them lighting up our apartment. After all this we get to our act; let there be noise everywhere.

We get down and start with the big bombs; I enjoy them a lot and usually try to think of a number of ways to get more sound out of it. I was covering them up with sand, stones; in fact whatever I could get my hands on; to get the full blast effect with the debris flying all around. However, it was a bit irritating to notice that all this time there was nobody on the road and soon as we started, suddenly there a lot of cars; bike crossing the road. Soon, we start with the light n throw act and its fun; all we needed was a chair. After some time, other folks from out apartments join in and suddenly we have a gang trying quite some crazy stuff. We even tried lighting rockets from our hands. It is fun but I would not advise that anyone does it. Later, I realize that I have been looking at the roads and my phone quite frequently and then getting back, a bit disappointed. I knew it would be the same on the other end but…

We have a quick dinner and watch TV for some time before we begin our second session. I get back to the sutli bombs while Atul and Mathur are happy with the Bijli’s and the fuljhadi’s. We finish off everything and then want to light the shimmering rocket. However, there is a twist in the tale and this bloody thing will not light. We tried everything; even putting that in fire; but it will not bulge. Keeping it aside we prepare ourselves for the final act, the set of 1000 crackers. It finished off and then we are again at the fluke rocket. it is not part of us to leave anything unfinished and we soon break it open to get the actual stuff out of it. Now this thing is supposed to go up and hence it had a very hard covering. We were skeptical about where we should light as we didn’t know what to expect. Finally we are out of patience and we light it. Man! That was a sight, the cracker blew and the shimmers were all over the place. Our security guard comes in running as some part of it had gone inside and was shimmering there as well. The sound was again awesome. We have a good laugh and have a look at the destruction that we have caused for this long; the smoke and the smell are intoxicating; just love it. We return to our apartment; sleep was out of question and we watched TV for very long.

I had planned for a lot of stuff; didn’t happen that way. I know that things do not turn out the way you want them to; but yes things happen for the good only. We did have fun, in spite of missing quite some people from our usual gang.

I hope that everyone has enjoyed the festive season and definitely pray that this Diwali bring in happiness and prosperity to each and everyone and that you get all that you wish for. May this season bring in light and keep us away from darkness.

Love Is Actually... All Around

I recently watched this wonderful movie, Love Actually. People are falling in love, falling out of love, some are with right people, some are with the wrong people, some are looking to have an affair, and some are in the period of mourning. It takes you through different aspects of how people get attached to people; complete strangers; and the things that they do for them. Be it the love of a 10 year old kid or the British writer who falls in love with a young Portuguese woman who does not even speak English. Even the father supporting his kid and giving him confidence and letting him follow what his heart wants; the Prime Minister falling in love with his catering manager.

I have never liked Romantic movies, but these times it definitely looks like my tastes have changed. I do not regret it but definitely it looks like I am enjoying these moments. Just a change in times before I leave India. I have met people that have made me realize how love is actually all around. I always thought that I am truly and completely incapable of getting attached to anybody; I mean anybody. This has helped me get out of a lot of difficult situations and concentrate on my goals; given the fact that I have been always very ambitious. But this time I find this difficult. The more I want to disconnect; the more I am thinking; the more connected I am.

I think of the moments when I have been down, and I found friends who were there to rest my head on; all through my life. It’s all love working and I tend to forget the people I really hate. People have loved me so; and I really do not know if I have ever done anything that I could have done to repay them back. I do not know whether it is right on my part to think of repaying them back for their love but I am definitely indebted to them all.

This leaves me thinking that definitely love is all around; in spite of all that hatred that seem to be around us all this while; I found someone who thought of making me happy all the time. This itself hits me back and I am left in a situation where I do not know what next. The actions and reactions that have happened after that have left me clueless as to what the hell!

I do not know what next but definitely, now I realize how important some people are in my life. They are the ones who have molded me and made me who I am; a lot more confident than what I was long back. I have been places; almost realized all my dreams; have been dreaming all this time and I know I will achieve them very soon.

Few Days In Chennai!

Finally, I was travelling; travelling again to Chennai. This time for my VISA interview; something I had been waiting for 2 years now. I have had my experiences; some ups and some downs though I always knew how things would turn out to be. I always regretted that things were getting delayed for me; but the recent events in my life convinced me that I was wrong. And now I was getting all that I wanted; all my plans were getting realized.

It all starts with on Wednesday when I plan to travel to Chennai for my US visa interview. I have planned to spend two days in Chennai and the next day in Bangalore and see all my friends before I leave to the US. I knew visiting Chennai will be special, as I had many of my friends there, Nithin, Ajish, Vinod and others. But as usual, only Nithin and Vinod were left as others had already left. Anyways, I was excited to meet them, and roam around Chennai and see for myself what the city has to give. I wanted to see all the Merc’s and the BMW’s that my eyes could relish and strengthen my desire to own one in the near future. One dream that I desperately wanted to realize.

I start on Wednesday evening after a little bit of a struggle as my tickets were not yet booked till 5:00 in the evening; however, since it was a week day, I could get a ticket for a bus. By the time I was leaving, I was already hungry for all the delicacies Chennai could offer me. This desire was fueled by one of my friends telling me that she was having fish for dinner; and I could smell the beautiful aromas of fried fish. This lead me to leave my bus half way at Majestic, Bangalore and search for a place which offers fish at around 11:00 at night. I finally found a place and had a delightful dinner of fish, chicken and Tandoors.

The journey in the bus was nice with me watching a hindi movie (Gupt) for the first time in a Karnataka bus. By the time I reached Chennai at about 6:00 in the morning, my cell phone battery had already died and I was unable to call anybody. I, by any luck that I had, carried the address of my company guest house and had no other option but to go there and charge my mobile before I can see any of my friends. As expected the Cab guys charged me an exorbitant amount to get me to the place (Saidapet).

Day 1 – Thursday

I call up Vinod to ask him where he is put up and I get to know that Nithin (Thadiyan) lives rite next to my office apartments. I call up Thadiyan and he comes up to pick me up. I go to his place and I kind of like Chennai as it is cool; which is unusual. However, it had been raining for some time now and I guess that was the reason why I felt it was really cold as I would have expected the place to be. I go his place and we start talking about our college days and it was really nice as we started roaming around the same old lanes that we used to frequent a few years back. I remember how the Mathais used to lighten up the silent little village of Mannassery. We started remembering all the small and the big pranks that we used to play on all of us and the ups and downs that we had in those days; how we were always short of cash for our stuff and the ways that we used to get money to have our usual Chicken dinners at Kalanthode. We remembered all our college festivals and the fun we had.

By afternoon, Thadiyan had to leave to office and Vinod took me over to the Basil beach; the beach he had started his social campaign. He showed me the monument that he and his folks are trying to preserve. It was nice and I really enjoyed the walk on the beach. The climate was awesome and the I could already smell all the delicacies that were prepared there. I was cautious about eating much from there but definitely, I could not stop myself from having corn (Bhutta, as we would call in the north). I also enjoyed the wide roads and the ride on them. It kind of reminded me of Jaipur and Delhi. Evening was chilled out at Diesel, the Pub where Vinod’s friend Robin was DJ’ing. I was mesmerized by the music. The music was not exactly what I listen to right now, but what I used to listen to when I was in College. I guess the guy had talent; as he would mix all sorts of music; hindi with english and in a way that would appeal to youngsters; the crowd nowadays. I also me some of his friends; RJ’s and other college students. By the time I got home, I was a little bit scared as I had not looked at my documents and was not at all prepared for the interview the next day. However, I was lucky as Ajoy came online that time and told me exactly what I should expect at the interview. I just read my petition papers and then went to sleep.

I really liked Chennai at this point as could never enjoy these roads in Mysore; and it is a totally different feeling living in a Metro.

Day 2- Friday

I wake up in the morning, 7:00 AM, tired and sleepy, ready for my interview. However, I get late to the US consulate; it is usual as I get late to any place that I have an appointment for. I had my interview at 9:45 AM and I get there by 10:15. However, I get in and am able complete the process by 11:00 AM. I now get back home and have a nice sleep for quite some time. By 4:00 pm, Vinod is back and I am all set to go back to the beach. This time for a nice fish treat and I quite liked the fish that I had. I had never had a fish this big and it was awesome. Now, the beach has a sidewalk where people come to walk and sit down and to have a nice chat with friends. It reminds me of my school days when I used to chill with all my friends; near our place; or the Shoppers Stop; and the numerous other places. I quite enjoyed the city life there; bustling with life and activity; something that the quiet places like Kerala and Mysore can never give you.

Ya, I loved the place then. I was actually thinking if the climate was better, I could have been very much in Chennai. Guess this time I did not see the actual city; the dirty buses and litter all around; hence the change of mind.

I returned back to Nithin’s place and we had a party where I finally talk with his roomies, Suresh, Anwar. I convince them to come to Mysore for the Diwali weekend, so that I could meet these guys before I actually travel to the US.

Day 3- Saturday

I was supposed to return to Bangalore on Friday, but was not allowed and I had to waste my Bus ticket. We were supposed to chill out today, but as always, we all slept till afternoon. Then, once we woke up we watched “Kung-fu Panda” together. Nice day!

Later, I went to Vinod’s place and again I was looking at the wide roads again. I was also looking at the speedometer of Nithin’s car as he was never crossing a mere 40 KMPH. I had been provoking him to drive a little bit faster; to which he would very sweetly smile and give me his Chennai traffic funda’s. We were there at Vinod’s place for about an hour and a half and then went to Spencer’s plaza. I suddenly had a craving for chicken and we realized that the nearest KFC was at Spencer’s. Off we go to Spencer’s only to find that it is totally and completely crowded. We pack our Chicken bucket and burgers and return back, only to get stuck in the traffic for about 2 hours. That was it! I realized that Mysore is better.

We got back home had another round of talks; remembered all the crazy things we did in College. And then went to sleep as I had an early train to catch; at 6:00 AM.

The Return - Sunday

I wake up early at 5:00; it’s rare that I wake up at this time. It was nice to see the sun just come up and the nice colors of the morning. This might seem unusual but for a person like me it is definitely a nice experience. Nithin and Vinod leave me to the Railway station, And I snug in comfortably into my seat. The train seems comfortable, but I never like the smell inside. It gives me the dirty feeling that it’s all dirty inside. However, as I had woken up early, it was time for me to sleep again. I soon get knocked out and it was only after we moved out of Bangalore that I got my senses. Now, sitting in my chair seemed uncomfortable and I move to the door of the train, trying to have a look at the scenery outside.

This is something I have always enjoyed. I remember, when we were returning from Ajish’s sister’s marriage we had done the same. In fact, when I gone to get my computer from Kayamkulam in Kerala, I had done the same; actually all my train journeys were done at the door only. However, this time it was different. I used to enjoy the scenes outside, but this time all the people I saw; got me thinking about the difference between me and them. It is a painful thought; yes!

I saw children; youngsters, playing just besides the train tracks. They were playing marbles; for small bets. Some were flying kites; all enjoying their present without having to worry about what lay next. They were not that financially strong; but were carefree without having to worry about what comes next; just living the moment, with nothing to lose; and nothing to gain as well. I remember my school days; with all the expectations and the determination to be an achiever; to get to places that people never dream of. I feel pity for them; for not having a future as I would think my future should be; but at the same time, I felt pity for myself for never having such time where I did not have to think about actions and their consequences.
Soon, I reach Mysore, get a Cab and get to my Apartment to forget all this and get back to my life, where I will again be restless; eager to see what happens next; carefully seeing to it that all my moves are perfect and I achieve what I have set out to achieve.

The trip had been great, with me remembering all my old days; getting what I really wanted to get; to take the step for a better tomorrow. I guess, I will always run, setting new goals as I achieve; wanting more and more and even more. I have met different people, quite a lot of people, teaching me a lot of things about life. I do remember them and hope to see them again at some point in my life and share the moments as we’ve had together.

To view some of the photos of this trip, click here.

Confused! That's Me Right Now

Life’s been a roller coaster ride recently. The kind of things that I have been doing these days has been completely different than what I used to do before. I have never done things like this and had never thought I had the energy or the necessity to do anything like this. I always thought that I am the lazy guy who loves his bed so much that all he can think of is computers and sleep; of course with a little bit of adventure when I really get tired of sleeping. I thought I knew what I need to do; what I want in life; where I want to be; I thought I had my life chalked out. But, life’s such a mystery that it always amazes; in fact, surprises; you.

Yes, I am philosophical nowadays. I like stuff that I never would have cared for before; am doing things that were out of my world before. I am watching movies that never made any sense to me before. I am thinking too much now. Man! This thing feels horrible as well as good sometimes. I guess I am confused a little bit; little bit, huh!

I wanted to ride the Harley, roam the country side for days. I wanted to jump from the sky on a parachute. I wanted to do the Himalayan Odyssey on a Thunderbird. I wanted to bungee jump, parasail and …. All this makes no sense now; if I am doing it alone. I have never known this feeling before; painful and beautiful at the same time. All the things that i have done till now were with people i enjoyed spending time with; Chiku, Prem, Girish, Bhupi, Vishal (2), Mangesh, Deepa, Makarand, Manoj, Chacha, ...., and a lot more. None of them with me now. I will be traveling soon to new places with new challenges and thrills of its own. But seriously, if i think i really will never enjoy them as long as I do not have these people around me. I times that we had, the fun we have had, the talks, the good the bad, all come back to me; and i now think, will life be the same again. And that confuses you, whether you want certain changes to happen or you want things to remain the same. I guess life always surprises you you with stuff like that; and you have to move on. But untill you move on, it always is pretty hard to think and imagine that. I hope that i find all my friends again and we have the same time as we had in Mysore.

I’m confused what I really want this time.